:(

ok then. bye. happy new year.

Good bye?

I guess we're putting this blog to rest. Anybody have any objections? Is anybody even out there? Maybe we could try a new theme. I'm a good cook and a good eater but apparently not a great rememberer or photographer, so perhaps something more suited to my inabilities? Any ideas? xo

Eric is 36

And we celebrated by me cooking a lot of food.
This was the menu:
Drinks - White wine sangria, tequilla, scotch, champagne, beer and wine
Appetizers - spicy mixed nuts that I made with Chinese five spice and togarashi, really delicious deviled eggs with horseradish and Coleman's and spicy mustard and sour cream and pepperoncini juice and dill (and a few other things), raw veggies with ranch sour cream dip which I added a lot of dried dill to (yum), and mini pesto BLTs. More on those later
Dinner - Garlic bread on halved ciabatta sandwich rolls and white chicken chili with roasted chilis with sour cream, green onions and sharp cheddar cheese for toppings.
Dessert - Chocolate cake with fluffy white icing and spumoni ice cream (Eric has a fondness for crappy foods, which may or may not have to do with growing up in Scranton, I'm not judging) and pumpkin pie with whipped cream

The BLTs were the best I've ever had. I cut the bacon slices in half and baked the bacon on a rack in the oven at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes. Meanwhile I cut a bunch of Kings Hawaiian rolls in half and spread them with a mixture of mayonnaise and pesto then topped that with sliced little tomatoes and arugula. When the bacon came out of the oven I put one piece of bacon on each sandwich and that was it. One of the top sandwiches of all time, no joke.

Nantucket

Not Nantuckett. I know.

Stupid blog

I have no idea why the recipe did that like that.

Chowder

I made New England Clam Chowder in sourdough bread bowls the other night for my dad and me. It's one of his favorite things and I had never made it and much to my surprise, neither had he. It was quite delicious.

New England Clam Chowder

adapted from the Seagrille Restaurant in Nantuckett

Serves 3-4

• 8 quahog clams, cleaned
• 3 strips bacon, chopped
• 1/2 stick unsalted butter
• 1/2 chopped onion
• 3 stalks chopped celery
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 bay leaves
• Tabasco
• Worcestershire sauce
• Freshly ground pepper
• Kosher salt
  
• 1 cup half and half
  
• 1 large chopped russet potatoes
• sourdough bread bowls
  

Directions

1. Place clams and 4 cups water in a large stockpot over medium-high heat. Cover and cook until clams have opened. Drain, reserving liquid, and discarding any unopened clams. Remove clams from shells, discarding shells. Coarsely chop clams in a bowl so that you don't lose any of the brine and set aside.
2. Heat bacon and butter in a second stockpot over medium-high heat. Add onions and celery; stir to coat. Add flour and cook, stirring, until thickened, 3 to 4 minutes.
3. Add reserved clam cooking liquid and bay leaves; season with Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and pepper and salt. Add half and half; let simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. Add potatoes; let simmer 15 to 20 minutes. Add reserved chopped clams and cook until just heated through.
4. Meanwhile heat sourdough bowls in the oven on 350 for about 5 or 6 minutes.
5. Ladle soup into bowls and serve with butter, if you want (I did, Dad didn't).
   

Closed

I got my keys. As soon as the realtor left I had a shit balls break down. I miss my mom and I hated the house and I felt so totally alone. But thanks to some very lovely and cheerful friends who know how to make someone feel better, I felt better and now I think I just need to eat because breakfast and lunch have passed and there has been no food, and now it could easily be considered dinner time, and still nothing. So hopefully there will be chips and salsa early enough in the first margarita that I don't get really drunk and start crying. Again.

Yard Sale

I'm having a garage sale on Saturday. It's mostly little stuff, some bags, some clothes, TONS of books (good ones!), some throw pillows, aprons, a couple tables, fax, tv, etc. If you know someone who needs stuff, let 'em know.

Election, house, paint and peanut butter cups

I am so excited!!! I can't wait for tonight, I feel really good about it, I have been really nervous up until now. I had an anxiety attack last night. I'm not going to say it was because of the election, but I have definitely been feeling very anxious and anticipatory. We'll see...
The house will be mine on Monday. The painter is scheduled, the wallpaper is ordered and I currently am a little less than 5 days away from the end of an ebay auction I have bid on for a danish mid-century credenza with tambour doors that has no reserve! And I am the high bidder at $10.50! So that plus the $345 for shipping and I'm on my way to a hell of a deal.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=280281981081&Category=156310null&_trksid=p3907.m29

Wait, does my ebay auction end the same day as I close on my house? No. I just checked, it's the night before. I have decided not to paint the wall below the chair rail in the dining room black to match the wallpaper. It is going to be a soft kind of bluish greenish gray. I'm still a little wanting the black but when I showed two of my friends whose taste I trust, they said it would looked like I colored on the wall with white out. I guess if I hate it I can always paint it again, it's a pretty small area. I was going to show it to you but the color online looks completely different from the color on the paint chip, so I don't want to scare anyone.

I have also decided that when I am moved in and have put all my stuff away in the kitchen, the first thing I am going to make is homemade peanut butter cups.

I'm decorating

I'm thinking I'm gonna put this wallpaper...



In this dining room...


Yes it will make it look smaller and yes it is pretty much black, but is small necessarily bad for a dining room? It's cozy and intimate. It has a sparkly chandelier and I will have a mirror. Below the chair rail I'm gonna do the matching color in paint, but no pattern. Thoughts?
p.s. It goes without saying that the red curtains will be gone, just clearing that up. Also, that is not my dining table or rug. Ha! Yeah right. Mine's better.

Halb halb halb....

Can somebody please email me and remind me to take pictures of the lobster stuff on Sunday? Sugie, if it's you, you can just tell me. That would be helpful. This has become a really boring blog, believe me, I hate it more than you do.
I just had a misunderstanding with someone over ichat (which was not resolved and I am still confused about) but it made me have an idea. Do gay guys date gay girls? Can they? Would they? It sounds perfect kind of, I think. I can't really wrap my head around it but I think it could work. Does anybody want to do an experiment? I would need at least one gay guy and one gay girl, first come first served.
That just made me think of another idea I had in the shower this morning where I have my most interesting ideas. I was thinking of taking my favorite question (what are your 3 favorite foods) and starting to record them and include some backround about the person and make it into a huge study. And maybe I could be in the New Yorker one day or on NPR. It's pretty much my only shot thus far and if it's gonna happen ever I think I better get started on something. What made me think of THAT was that I realized how I haven't yet had one person respond with a dessert item in their top three. I find that interesting, people really seem to love cookies and brownies and ice cream and pie and stuff, so why not? What made me think of THAT was how I have stopped liking sugar stuff.
How are you guys liking this new theme and format of reverse train of thought? More exciting than the alternative (idiotic food babble) right?

Hap(orrified) Homeowner

Hi. I have been packing and house hunting and not cooking at all, I'm sorry if you've missed me. I've barely even been eating at all. I know, sweet. But I have bought a house. If all goes well with the inspections and everything I'll be moving in in a month. There is a pool. And a built in barbecue and outdoor fridge.

The kitchen is not pretty but big and new and very functional and I plan to paint all the cabinets. And by I, I don't mean I. So soon there will probably be magical things coming out of there with a real hot oven and 6 burners and all that.

Maybe I'll even talk about my laundry now that I have brand new front loading copper colored high efficiency machines. They come with the house. As do the plants and the patio furniture and the light fixtures and the window treatments. Who knew? Here's a thing though. Did you ever notice how when you buy a house for say like $500,000 (not what I am doing) you actually pay like a million and a half dollars for it? That's the little stinger they don't tell you about. Ever. I had to use a calculator.

oh and p.s. if anyone wants a Kenmore elite washer and gas dryer that are very clean and functional and were bought about 3 years ago, I am selling them for $400. Maybe you can get a deal because you're my friend. I'm also selling my Kenmore gas grill for $50. And there will be a garage sale on Nov 2 at my old shitty house 4548 Laurelgrove. Tell your friends.

Down and kicked out

I made spaghetti sandwiches the other day. Spaghetti with delicious chunky tomato sauce with onions and garlic and zucchini and mushrooms all on a toasted roll with melted mozzarella on it and parmesan shaved over the top. It was great.
On a less delicious tip, I'm getting kicked out of my perfect little magical dream house and now I just found out single family dwellings do not fall under the rights of renters to get relocation assistance to the tune of $9040. So yeah. Talk about kicking a girl when she's down. Oh, your mom died? And you haven't been working all year and have used up all your savings? Well how about I make you homeless during this most momentous of economic crises. You and your little dog, too. That's nice.

Birthday bugs, etc etc...

Dude. The sourdough bread. My baby has grown and made me so proud. If it happened with human children that fast I would probably, definitely have one or two. But in real life, sourdough and puppies are so much more rewarding. Look at those flaky layers!!



You know what's cute? I haven't felt like doing this posting for awhile but then I just looked at my tracker thing and saw that people are still checking me every day and I felt like I was famous and owed it to my fans. Thanks for the kick in the pants, I love you guys too ;)

So despite my pretty stinky hangover on Sunday, it was my dad's birthday and I had planned to make us lobster and that I did. Guess what? No pictures. Who cares, have you ever seen a lobster before? They looked just like that. Maybe a little cuter. Maybe I've mentioned before that not one of my family members will eat the same thing? So, seeing as it was a special occassion, I was making a different menu item for everyone. Little brother got homemade tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich which I made by taking a very fat slice of my homemade sourdough bread and making a slit in it and stuffing it full of delicious sharp aged white cheddar and grilling it in butter. Littler brother got his favorite, fried chicken sandwich, which I marinated all day in buttermilk and wing sauce and pepper and then coated in flour and fried to golden. Yes, there were no sides or vegetables, save for the tomato soup. Gimme a break, I got like an hour of sleep. (Robin, don't tell Dad that, I mean it ;)


We had a fabulous time and we laughed and we laughed and then we watched Entourage and ate carrot cake which was much prettier in person. It's my mama's recipe from back in the hippie days but somehow, after you bake it, you melt up a bunch of butter and sugar and pour it over the hot cake. I guess the hippies needed all the calories they could get. If I milked goats twice a day, every day, even on Christmas, I probably would too. Goats don't know about Christmas, apparently.

Continuing the sour theme

I'm all backed up. You don't even know yet about the sourdough starter that I got from King Arthur flour. That sucker is a winner. Puffed up and wants to be friends. I'm in. Let's be friends. It smells good, it's exciting, it's cute and it shuts up when I want it to. New BFF (not really, Sugie).


So I got it and fed it and gave it water a few times and it was all ready to go so I used it to make the recipe that got me inspired to have a sourdough starter in the first place! Sourdough lemon blackberry cake. It wasn't as exciting as real sourdough bread but I didn't have time for that because that takes long and I had to do it after work. But it was yummy (if you like sweetish things, I don't think I do really anymore. Woah!!) and very, very pretty.

I actually cut the sugar a little cause I wanted to taste more sour but I think if that's what you want then you just have to make sourdough bread, you jackass. So that's what I'll do next. It's my dad's birthday on Sunday and I'm going to make lobster and homemade sourdough bread and carrot cake. Who's in?
Oh yeah, the sourdough starter I made my own self from scratch may still be kicking we'll have to see. I tried to make bread from it and it was a very delicious hockey puck. At least the delicious part is encouraging.

Boo hoo

Sorry, you guys. I'm a combination of sad and busy and haven't had the energy for this recently, but there's some stuff coming when I can get my shit together. Love you xx

I didn't cry

After I posted about the sour licorice in my 85 list, my brother said, why don't we try to make it!? Within an hour we had lined up an assistant to go to Surfas to get the citric acid and the sparkly sugar and when I got home that night, after the fourth batch of brownies was in the oven, we made licorice. I just kinda winged it as far as sugar to acid ratio and mixed it up and it tasted pretty delicious so I rolled them in there and tried it, still delicious. Then the next day holy sourballs. It was much sourer. Also it was a little foggy and damp so they didn't really dry right and I'm going to need to try this again, but fortunately the citric acid comes in a container you would be a real masochist to ever finish in a lifetime, so I can do a lot more testing. It's gonna be pretty great. If you want in on this action, please give me a hell yes.

Top 3

Okay, I guess it's probably asking a lot for you to peruse such a long list of items, but how about another favorite game of mine. Actually it's my only favorite game, the other one was just a one off. So my favorite game is asking someone what their 3 top favorite foods are. The best thing is how quickly people answer and with such conviction. I would have thought it would take a lot of mulling over but people really seem to feel confident about the foods they like. It would make an interesting study of some sort I'm sure. Like this couple that I know, I asked them each the question, but separately when they weren't together and each of them said toast! Isn't that crazy and cute and fun?! Yes, it is. And also, certain people's answers will just charm you and stick in your mind and you'll just think about it in the middle of your day somewhere. A recent favorite was spaghetti, tacos and broccoli. See?? It's really fun, let's do it. Go.

Bagodonuts' 85 Must Try Once Foods

100 is a lot of fucking foods. I didn't want lessen the integrity of the list just to try to hit a number. I feel that every one of the items on this list will make you a happier person for having eaten it, at least for a minute. Please, please leave comments, email me, ichat me, favorite foods is my favorite topic and I can't wait to hear what you all have to say. You can copy and paste the list and bold all the ones you've had and/or make comments or just comment on particular items, whatever you like, but let's hear it. Also, please feel free to print this list and spend as long as necessary hunting all of the items down and eating them until you're done. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I will. Please note, this list is in no particular order, except for maybe the first one. Hot lobster rolls are the number one best food in the world, it's not debatable.

1. hot lobster roll
2. passion fruit
3. sushi
4. bread and butter dipped in soup
5. uni
6. coleman's mustard
7. hot rice with butter and soy sauce
8. michelada
9. individually layered nachos
10. cornichons
11. pickled egg
12. steamed artichoke heart dipped in a mixture of mayo and soy sauce
13. french onion dip with potato chips
14. Hawaiian pizza
15. just picked heirloom tomatoes
16. Maldon sea salt
17. my brownies
18. leftover stuffing with gravy and cranberry sauce
19. deep fried hot dog
20. fried chicken sandwich on a krispy cream donut with swiss cheese and hot sauce
21. hot fresh pretzels (not from a NY street cart!!)
22. frozen cookies dipped in cold milk
23. green jalapeno hot sauce
24. deep fried green tea ice cream
25. whole lobster with melted butter
26. pumpkin pancakes
27. peach pie
28. strawberry rhubarb pie
29. frozen grapes
30. Zachary's pizza in Berkeley (eat in)
31. sangria
32. jambalaya
33. camarones en mojo de ajo
34. home made donuts
35. shabu shabu
36. Wheat Thins
37. aged gouda
38. summer peach
39. Ranier cherries
40. sourdough bread
50. everything bagel
51. tuna sandwich on the beach
52. steak with horseradish cream
53. burrata
54. roast chicken with pan gravy
55. Tom Ka
56. prosciutto with ripe melon
57. soft shell crab
58. peanut butter banana milkshake
59. In-n-out cheeseburger with no ketchup or mustard. try it once. i've converted
60. bbq pork bao
61. pho
62. wasabi peas
63. fresh croissants
64. clotted cream
65. chili with cheese and sour cream on a baked potato
66. bacon wrapped dates
67. sour red licorice (omg, I wish I could still find this I would cry)
68. deviled eggs
69. veal milanese with lemon
70. challah
71. rye bread with butter
72. sweet potato fries
73. chocolate eclair with whipped cream, not custard
74. peanut butter M&Ms
75. ponzu sauce
76. live sake (no, not unfiltered, live)
77. poke
78. banana bread
79. German potato salad
80. creme brulee
81. pappardelle
82. Carolina bbq with coleslaw
83. See's Candies apricot delight
84. tomato soup with grilled cheese
85. bibimbap

Rock on

The guitar is done!! It still needs a few tweaks but it is fucking cool. The night before last my dad looked at my and out of nowhere in this real sad voice said, "I'm scared my guitar isn't gonna work at all." Awww! Well not to worry. It does and it sounds totally bitchin'. But sound is not everything, look at the sucker. Pretty sweet, no? I'll get some better detail pictures, there's a lot of good stuff to see. The cute guy is my brother, not my dad. My dad's cute too,though.

Bulky

Last night I went to Costco and realized a regular jumbo sized Costco cart was never gonna cut it. I pulled out the big boy flat bed and after feeling very sorry for myself and maybe hurting a few people, I got the hang of it and realized what Costco is all about. Buying a lot of stuff. Oooohh. The bummer is, you want other people to look at you and think, 'Wow, look at all that stuff, what the hell is she doing with all that stuff' like I always think when I see people with 7 flats of non-dairy creamer, but those Costco people are so jaded, nobody even did a double take.
But I felt pretty tough swingin' all around there using the back wheels to steer instead of the front wheels (duh) and stacking my cart all Tetris-like (believe me, before the flowers it was a real good job). Then I got in line and thought, hey I should take a picture! Much easier to remember since my brain wasn't consumed with eating something as soon as possible.


Then the old man behind me with two items said, 'Pretty proud of your shopping, huh?' And I said, 'Yeah, it's my biggest one ever!' Then later when I let him go in front of me he said, 'I'm not that proud of mine.' I said, 'Are you sure? I'll take it's picture if you want!' Look at me being all cute and friendly with the strangers. Don't get used to it, my mom just died and my moods are very unpredictable.

I'm making a baby

A baby sourdough starter that I hope will one day grow up to be a very respectable loaf of bread or a hundred. Maybe some pancakes too. I started last night. I'm very excited, I'll let you know how it goes. This could be the start of something amazing.
I also ordered a sourdough starter from King Arthur for comparisons sake and in case mine sucks.

VGT Omnivore's 100

There's an English guy with a blog called Very Good Taste http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/uncategorised/the-omnivores-hundred/ and he posted a list of 100 things he thinks every good omnivore should try in their life. He has some rules about post in your journal, cross out the blah blah blah, I just bolded what I'd eaten and made notes where I felt moved to. I found this on Chocolate and Zucchini's site which I love http://chocolateandzucchini.com/ and I was very impressed to find that she had not eaten 37 of them and I have only not eaten 36!! I think it would be more fun if you made the 100 list of your own. Maybe I will do that and we can go off that because who cares what this English guy thinks, I don't think a cigar belongs on this list at all.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp - I feel like I must have but I really don't know
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari 12. Pho 13. PB&J sandwich 14. Aloo gobi 15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses - don't even know what this is, will Google
17. Black truffle 18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns 20. Pistachio ice cream 21. Heirloom tomatoes 22. Fresh wild berries 23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans 25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper - I had the opportunity just the other day but didn't
27. Dulce de leche 28. Oysters 29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda - never interested until I saw Jamie Oliver make it
31. Wasabi peas 32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl 33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut 35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - no thanks
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk - not in milk form
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut 50. Sea urchin 51. Prickly pear 52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini 58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian - never
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho 72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe 74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini 81. Tom yum 82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash 88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano 96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

F you, K.F.

Okay, I'm giving up. Who do I think I am, Miami Today News? And they only made it to page 35 in a Google search for "kraft foods." (I wanted to see how good my chances were that the pizzas were on their way. They're definitely not.) I think I have to aim a little lower if I want to get any free stuff. Is that possible? Hello, Skinny Cow, are you out there? I love your mint ice cream sandwiches! But why does the mint ice cream (although I use the words "ice cream" very loosely in this case) in the cones taste so much weirder and faker? Don't send cones, they melt too much anyway, thanks!

This is all starting to make sense

Taking a photograph of your meal before you eat it can encourage weight loss, a new study suggests.

- Telegraph.co.uk

GOOD THING I haven't been taking any pictures, who knew! I could have lost all this precious weight I just found!

This is getting ridiculous

As most of you probably know, I haven't been working too much this year. Especially not in LA. All of my "work stuff" is in LA in a very small box at the office I usually work at. I finally got a job and I'm at the office and I was poking around in my little box of "work" items and after I pushed aside the clown makeup, the half empty (I know, it's a theme) bag of grapenuts, the Zicam and the scissors that aren't mine, there she was, my little work sidekick, a fresh unopened can of General Foods International sugar free French Vanilla Cafe. I don't drink coffee, but let's be honest, this is about as coffee as an ice cream float (more on that later). So I drank some and loved it and barely even got caffeine face (again, not really coffee) and got to thinking, 'Wow, this is funny my love of certain trashy foods.' That's right, guess who makes it. I ♡you, Kraft Foods. Thanks again.

Oh, btw, Kraft...

...if you are listening, please note that this is not my first, but my SECOND mention of your delicious pizza. I'll tell whomever you want. Kisses!

Kraft foods, are you listening?

I would kill for a Digiorno's Ultimate thin crust four cheese pizza, right now. Maybe not kill. But maybe I would keep talking about them in a public forum and maybe somebody would notice and give me free Digiorno's Ultimate thin crust four cheese pizzas for life?? Maybe!

I wish my camera was broken so I would have an excuse...

Last night my dad and I ate the leftover seafood stuff with linguine and big toasted hunks of bread with butter. It was crazy good, I think my dad definitely preferred it the second time around. No picture, big shocker. If I don't have a picture should I just shut up about it? Let's hear.

On Saturday night I went to a friends house for grapefruit margaritas, mexican corn, shrimp tacos and strawberry shortcake. Here is the only good picture I took.


I chopped up a bunch of garlic and cooked it in melted butter for a couple minutes, then added the shrimp and seasoned until they turned pink. Served with hot flour tortillas, chopped avocados and tomatoes with lime and salt and any kind of salsa you like. Probably the easiest thing I've ever made and according to my fans (critics?), one of the best.

My friend, Tina, grilled corn in their husks and served with crema, cotija cheese, lime and chile powder.

Maggie made the best shortcakes I've ever had, and I do like mine quite a lot. Hers were served with perfect cream and perfect strawberries.

Cans of tecate and grapefruit margaritas to drink. Probably everyone reading this has had one of my grapefruit margaritas, but really, they are worth mentioning anyway, no? Try them. If I feel fancy I rim the glasses with superfine sugar. If not (usually), not. Also, being lazy is a great way to save calories in this instance. Doesn't usually work that way, quite a bonus.


Grapefruit Margaritas
if you have Reidel stemless red wine glasses, definitely use them for this, it tastes better

makes 1

2 shots tequilla (don't use crap)
equal amount, but just short of Simply Grapefruit
juice of one lime
1 T superfine sugar
ice

Fill a glass to the top with ice. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir vigorously until the sugar is dissolved. That's it.
If I'm making a bunch of these I sometimes use less limes. Mostly because it doesn't really make a difference and limes are really expensive now.

Why do people say happy as a clam? Are clams really that happy?

Last night I had the pleasure of cooking for just my dad and me. I love cooking for him because he has no food issues and we like the same things. Usually when I cook for my family I start off with What would I like to eat? And then instantly have to rule it out because at least 66% of my family would hate it or refuse to eat it due to environmental issues. I'm serious. (Sean, I hope you still don't read this but if you do, there is no judgment, I'm just saying. And thanks for reading!) So then I get all muddled up and end up making something with a combination of no meat and no fish and no eggs and I manage to pull it off more often than sounds possible, but it makes me not as excited about cooking.
So last night I was in the mood for a cioppino style deal with crusty bread with lots of butter for slopping. And that's what I got. And bitch was it good. Kind of sea-y and tomato-y and sour and the fish kicked ass. I wish I took a picture of the raw fish because it was some of the prettiest I've seen. Tilapia filets, no bones, beautiful white and pink. It's farm raised but I think my dad and I decided that for Tilapia that would be okay because they aren't too crowded together or something? Don't hate. Also, they're from Vietnam so we're continuing a theme, but ew I guess that means they had a hell of a flight. They looked so fresh though!

Seafood in tomato and clam broth
(that's the best I could come up with. other thoughts: fish stew? seafood soup? ew)

4 T basil oil or olive oil
1 onion, cut in half, then across 4 times then slice very thinly
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 bay leaves
salt and pepper to taste
1 T Old Bay seasoning
1/2 bottle good white wine
1 bottle clam juice
15 oz can chopped tomatoes
2 c chicken broth
1 - 1.5 lb clams
1 - 1.5 lb fish of your liking
1/2 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 T butter

Heat the oil in a large heavy pot and add the onions and saute for 5 minutes. Add the garlic, bay leaves, salt, pepper and Old Bay and saute for another 5 minutes or so until softened but be careful not to burn.
Add the wine and bring to a boil and reduce a bit. Add clam juice, tomatoes with juice and chicken broth. Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer and cook about 20-30 minutes. Taste for seasoning.
Cut the fish into chunks and add to the broth along with the clams. Stir, then cover the pot and cook for about 5 minutes. Add the shrimp, stir and cover for about 3 minutes. Turn the heat off and check the shrimp for doneness. If you want it cooked more, just cover the pot off the heat and let steam for a couple more minutes. Serve with hot crusty sourdough bread and lots of cold butter and lemon wedges.

Note: You can adjust the amount of seafood and use whatever else you like instead such as mussles, scallops, halibut, etc, whatever looks good. Be sure your shellfish is all closed when it's raw and all opened when it's cooked. If in doubt, toss it. I've never had food poisoning and I don't intend to on my own watch.

When my dad went to get his plate he said, Oh man, that smell, it's exactly like Cape Cod. I was so proud. After I ate it, though I LOVED it, I was so hot for hours and very cranky about it. I suggest this for perhaps a cooler sort of night.

An undocumented sandwich

The night before last we made a feast of bahn mi (vietnamese sandwiches) and the cucumber salad that I made the other night with the apricot chicken. They are made of cold cuts, fish sauce, sriracha, cilantro, jalapenos, pate, carrots and radishes, and if you want, cucumber salad. And if you're disgusting, mayo. I know that doesn't sound like a great convergence of foods but take my word for it, there is something about it. Then we had ice cream cake. Cookies and cream with chocolate cake and maybe marshmallow frosting? Keely and I shared a piece. She may have loved it more than I did. She also ate head cheese. I did not. Alas, I have no pictures because I was pretty wildly hungover and also I usually forget to take pictures. Don't blame the hangover.

And he makes guitars and surfboards!

When left to his own devices, my dad gets creative with tortillas. And by creative, I mean that he puts whatever is in the fridge into a tortilla and calls it dinner. Last night he was rootin' around in there and he started sounding like he was gettin' some ideas and he says, "Look at all this stuff, we have salami!" So, into the tortilla went salami and swiss cheese which he put in the toaster. Half way through toasting came the halved cherry tomatoes. After toasting came the kalamata olives, caesar dressing (good old Girard), Tabasco sauce and Maggi. He wished we had lettuce :D I laughed but was secretly a little jealous. I had rice with butter and soy sauce. Who's the real cook in this family? Obviously not this girl.

After the last bite he declared it "Fantastic!" Totally.

F.P.E.

Digiorno's Ultimate Thin Crust Authentic Four Cheese Pizza. One of the four cheeses is 'Mild Brick.' Okay. But it is probably, definitely my favorite pizza ever. I'm not joking. Get into it. Look for it in your grocer's freezer.

Good bye family, hello exotic foods

While everyone was here I really wanted to make this mango ginger bread recipe I've had my eye on, but my family tends to like to stick to the classics (a whole batch of brownies and a whole batch of cookies in one day) and then beg me not to make more because they feel like tanks but if I am going to could I just make more brownies, please? I told you the brownies are good. So everybody's gone now and I was home alone and bored and I had one not terribly delicious mango left so I decided it was time. I went over the whole list of ingredients to make sure I still had everything after the big refrigerator excavation I had just done, and I did so I started. And then I got to the first step - beat eggs with canola oil. Oh, canola oil. Hmmmm. Well, I've always wanted to try olive oil cake? Everyone says it's so good? Maybe I should use the less great olive oil because otherwise we're never gonna use it cause it sucks? Great idea. I almost started over after I poured the olive oil in and it smelled like week old mown grass with day old lemons, but I had used all the eggs. Yikes. Then I almost tossed the whole thing after the batter was done because it tasted...weird. But what the hell, it's easier to throw away a baked bread than a batter so I baked it. And it's good! YUM! If I make it again though, I'll use canola oil. Or maybe butter!!
I won't make it again though. I'll be making brownies instead, I'm sure.

Olive Oil optional Mango Ginger Bread
adapted from someone who adapted from Dorie Greenspan

2c all purpose flour
1c fine sugar
3 eggs
3/4c canola oil (or olive oil or try butter and let me know!)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2c brown sugar
1 large ripe mango, cubed
1c plump golden raisins

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees farenheit.
Whisk the eggs and oil with a fork in a large mixing bowl. Add the sugar and brown sugar and mix, then add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon and salt. Mix to combine and then add the mango and raisins and blend. Line a loaf pan with parchment paper that overhangs and pour the batter into the pan. Put the pan on an insulated baking sheet and bake for about 1 hour 20 minutes until a knife comes out clean. You may have to cover the top with foil if it's browning too quickly. When it's done, remove from the oven and rest for 5 minutes before removing the loaf from the pan and cooling on a rack. If you're taking pictures, only pick the crust from the butt end so the face still looks pretty.

Not a total failure (this time)

Remember my 6 pounds of pesto fish? Guess what it turned into. Pesto fish with mayonnaise. As a sandwich. As 12 sandwiches. And by sandwich I mean a wich eaten on the sand. That's right, beach picnic. I made tuna(ono) sandwiches and took them to the beach for my friends, yay!

The ones on rye bread were the best. And then you're the old man on the plane who pulls out a tuna on rye. Sweet one.

A fish free meal

Yesterday a very long time friend of my parents, who has since become my friend as well came over to hang out and have dinner. She is one of the best cooks I know and when we get together we usually plan a meal and cook together. I had been wanting to make broiled pesto salmon and the sticky rice that my mom used to make and when I told her that she said a friend had just brought her amazing pesto from Liguria and that she had tons of zucchini and tomatoes from her garden and would bring it all over. I had just been wanting to make zucchini bread and decided that I would make this brown sugar butter squash and tomato salad to go with the dinner. It turned out her zucchinis were too huge and woody so she got some at the farmers market.
I went to the fish market yesterday to get the salmon and it was $30 a pound. I love to support the wild caught fish but come on, I needed a lot of fish. So I went for the wild Fijian Wahoo instead which still ended up costing $88. When it was time, I heated up the broiler and spread the fish with lemon and pesto and stuck it in. I planned to cook it for about 8 minutes per inch of thickness so about 20 minutes. Took it out of the oven it was so gorgeous and fragrant and sizzly, but yikes maybe a little overcooked? Oh well, what can you do. Plated it, took it to the table, my aunt cut into it. Totally, totally raw. I love fish as undercooked as can possibly be but this was completely ridiculous. I put it in the oven and baked it at 400 for another 30 -45 minutes until it was finally done. Dinner last night was vegetarian and I have 6 pounds of cooked Wahoo in the fridge. Faaaan tastic.
The rest of the dinner was friggin exquisite ( ;) )! Delicious rice and amazing squash and fresh sweet tomatoes. Nobody really even seemed to miss the meat section of the meal. Least of all, Tucker, who had a gleam in her eye that could only mean, thank you Mommy, for ruining dinner, you're my hero, that fish is for me, right? Yes, Loopy.

Mama's Sticky Rice

olive oil
2 cloves chopped garlic
2 bags chopped fresh baby spinach
lots of dill, dried or fresh
2 T white wine vinegar
salt
pepper
1 1/2 cups rice
feta cheese, cut in 1/4" cubes
grated parmesan cheese

Put the rice in a heavy pot with 3 cups of water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for 18 minutes. Turn the heat off and leave to rest with the cover on until you're ready to use it.
Heat the olive oil in a large pan and cook the garlic, spinach, dill, vinegar, salt and pepper until liquid is evaporated, about 10 minutes. Add the rice and mix to combine and heat through. Add more salt and olive oil if needed. When hot, add both cheeses, mix and serve.


Butter Sugar Summer Squash

2 lbs squash cut into bite size pieces
4 T butter
2 T brown sugar
salt
pepper

Put the squash in a steamer and steam for just a couple of minutes until crisp tender. Melt the butter in a large heavy pot and add the squash, sugar, salt and pepper. Cook until the squash is very tender and taste for seasoning.

Meat and potatoes

My brother has had to work a lot of the time that all this family has been here but has been coming over after work to hang out with us and have dinner which is so nice of him since he has to drive an hour each way. When he was leaving one night I asked him what we should have for dinner tomorrow night and he immediately said, Ribs and fries! I love him so I did it. I'd made that before and he liked it but we have some non-pork eaters and some non-meat eaters so I added a big salad and some barbecued chicken.
For pork and chicken I made a spice rub with brown sugar, cayenne, paprika, Coleman's mustard, salt, pepper, cumin, blah blah blah and rubbed it all over and let it sit for a few hours then grilled the whole thing realy slow over indirect heat for a couple of hours. I warmed up some Jack Daniel's barbecue sauce which was surprisingly good and slathered it all over the meats when they came of the grill. Doing that was like shoving your face in a cake. So weirdly satisfying.
For the fries I cut a bunch of russet potatoes into strips and fried them in corn oil and then strained them onto paper towels and seasoned them with Tony Chachere's, kosher salt and togarashi. Togarashi on fries is a real winner.


This is my favorite salad:
Mixed greens, basil, avocado, fresh corn cut off the cob, sugar snap peas, English cucumber and cherry tomatoes cut in half with Girard's caesar dressing and lemon juice. Crunchy and refreshing and you can shovel it in fast while everybody else eats fries and not feel like a hippo. I still feel a little like a hippo, but a healthy hippo who eats vegetables.

BBE

Is it lame that I make the best brownies in the world but I won't tell the recipe? It is, I know. I think I want to be needed. And if people can only get the brownies through me then I can still feel proud and mysterious. If I tell you the ingredients it doesn't seem like the most amazing magical brownies ever it just seems easy. So sorry, if you want them just tell me and I will gladly make them for you. Also, this is one of maybe 3 recipes that my mom taught me how to make. No, 4. Brownies, carrot cake, chicken soup and sticky rice. My mom was a great cook but didn't really like cooking. Obviously I only half take after her. ;)
When these brownies came out of the oven Sugie said she was going to wait. I said, "This is when they're best when they're so hot that you can scoop them out with a spoon and they're all sticky with a cold glass of milk." She said, "OOoooh, where shoudl I take it from, the edge?" I said, "If I were you I'd dig a hole straight through the middle." I was kidding. But she was so satisfied. My aunt came in and said, "I've always wanted to do that!!" Ha! Simple pleasures.

Good girl, bad poster

I've made pretzels 3 times in 4 days. They win. Congratulations to them.
Last night I made one of the favorite things I've ever made. It wasn't very pretty but I probably could have finessed it and taken a really nice picture but really, I didn't even think about it until half way through my second helping. Do you see a theme? Big girl loves food, big girl cooks food, big girl must eat food right when it's ready. I will try to give you a mental picture. The chicken is coated in seasoned flour and is fried in butter then removed from the pan where the broccoli is added and seared very hot so it gets brown and stays nice and crunchy tender. Then the chicken is added back along with the sweet sour salty savory delicious thai-ish apricot sauce and all cooked together until hot and then served with cold crunchy sour spicy cucumber salad and hot steamy rice cooked in coconut milk and chicken broth. Then you eat a bit of each in each bite and be glad you did.

I have been wanting to make brownies and zucchini bread and mango ginger bread but a very lovely someone my dad knows sent a Mrs. Beasley's muffin basket and now we are overrun with slightly soggy, slightly stale, kind of eh baked goods, but they are baked goods nonetheless, so until someone (me, tonight) throws them away, I can't really add to the pile.

But keep your eyes peeled, that's all I'm saying.

Tonight is ribs and barbecued chicken and french fries and salad. So in case I forget to take pictures, you can dream about it tonight.

Kisses.

Apricot chicken
adapted from another blogger whom I can not remember, I saved it a really long time ago and my system of saving didn't account for having to give credit but thank you!!

All measurements approximate.

Stuff for apricot sauce:
9 apricots, halved
4 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp ginger chopped
2 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp brown sugar
juice of 1 lime
zest of 1 lime

Stuff for chicken:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs, sliced thinly into strips
1 cup white flour
2 t salt
1 t pepper
6 tbsp butter
2 heads broccoli, cut into florets and cut in half

Stuff for coconut rice:
2 cups jasmine rice
2 cups chicken broth
1 can coconut milk
1 tbsp salt

Place all the sauce ingredients in a food processor and puree. The desired flavor is sweet, salty, sour and spicy all at once. If it's too spicy, squeeze some more lime in there and add a little sugar. More fish sauce counteracts sweetness (be careful!).

Put all of the rice ingredients in a heavy pot, bring to a boil and then reduce heat to a simmer and cook for 18-20 minutes.

Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a flat container and drag the chicken strips around in the mixture until all of them are covered. Fry them over medium-hot in the butter until golden brown on both sides. This should take about 5-10 minutes per chicken strip. Once the chicken is fried, remove from pan. Add the broccoli to the hot pan and fry until bright green and lightly browned. Add the chicken and sauce to the pan and cook until heated through, about 5 minutes.

Serve over the coconut rice.

Thai Cucumber Salad

adapted from Bon Appétit August 2001

Makes 6 servings.

1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1 1/2 tablespoons fish sauce (nam pla)
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 sliced, seeded red jalapeño chili
1 garlic cloves, minced
2 English hothouse cucumbers, halved, thinly sliced
! shallot, very thinly sliced
3 tablespoons chopped fresh mint
3 tablespoons coarsely chopped lightly salted roasted peanuts

Whisk first 5 ingredients in medium bowl. Place cucumbers, onion, and mint in large bowl. Add dressing and toss to coat. Season salad to taste with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with peanuts and serve.

My mom would have loved these

My mom loved pretzels. But she did NOT love soft pretzels. She likes her meat cooked to death and her fruit hard and sour. Maybe she was just being ornery. Very possible.
But she would have definitely loved these pretzels, even though they're soft. They're kind of chewy on the outside and crispy on the bottom and soft on the inside and buttery and salty. And they're all gone. No joke, they were out of the oven at 12:05p and it is now 1:03p and my dad and brother are eating the last of them. Granted, there were only 7 and I ate at least 1.5 myself. I think I will probably be making another batch before 24 hours have gone by. This time I will maybe try to make them more pretzelish and less dough ballish, but maybe not. They would make a damn good sandwich this way.

Soft Pretzels
adapted from someone's blog who thought these were as close to Auntie Ann's as you could get and was definitely wrong (no offense, they're just not)

1 1/2 c warm water
1 1/8 t active yeast
2 T brown sugar
1 1/8 t salt
1 c bread flour
3 c flour

2 c warm water
2 T baking soda

Kosher salt, to taste
2-4 T butter, melted

Sprinkle yeast on lukewarm water in mixing bowl; stir to dissolve. Add sugar and salt and stir to dissolve; add flour and knead dough until smooth and elastic. Put the dough in a bowl with a little melted butter and turn dough over to coat, then cover with plastic wrap and let rise for one hour.
Prepare a baking soda water bath with 2 cups warm water and 2 T baking soda in a pie plate or shallow wide dish. Whisk until dissolved.
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
After dough has risen, punch down and pinch off handfuls of dough and roll into a long rope (about 1/2 in or less thick) and shape. Dip pretzel into soda solution and place on baking sheets covered with parchment. Allow pretzels to rise again about 20 minutes. Bake for about 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. Brush with melted butter, sprinkle with salt, and enjoy!

Hippie Jam

My parents used to be hippies and lived on a commune in Boulder Creek, CA. Most of their friends now are people they met there and a lot of them still have at least a little to do with the place which, incredibly, is still in existence. They still have hippies in that part of the world. When these people come to visit they will often bring jam and honey which they make there. It's incredibly good but neither of my parents are big jam eaters so it tends to hang around for awhile. Then three things happened at once. Martha Stewart published this recipe as her "cookie of the month," I was in New York and had bought some sparkling sugar because I have always wanted to make something with it, and I came to stay at my parents house where the jam is. Not "at once" exactly but in close and coincidental fashion.
These cookies take a long time to make and also coincidentally, I have pretty much nothing but time right now. Lucky for these cookies because normally it is not my style to do tedious and time consuming cooking with many steps. They aren't hard but they just take a long time, blah blah, everyone always says that. I guess because it's true. Doesn't really make it sound less annoying though.

Oh p.s., the place my parents lived is called Camp Joy. Doesn't seem that funny to me but somebody I once told that to still tells me it's the most hilarious thing ever. Perhaps it's amusing to you?

Jam Sammiches
that's not what Martha calls them

2 1/2 cups cake flour (or substitute all purpose flour using 1 cup minus 2 tablespoons for every cup)
1 t baking powder
1 t salt
1 1/2 sticks butter
3/4 c sugar
2 egg yolks
1 1/2 t vanilla
1 T heavy cream, plus more for brushing
1 c jam of your liking
sanding sugar

Mix together flour, salt and baking powder. Cream butter and sugar with a mixer until light and fluffy. Beat in yolks and vanilla. Add half of flour mixture and mix until combined, then add cream and mix, then add the rest of the flour and beat until well incorporated. Shape dough into 2 squares and wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 3 hours or more.
On floured parchment, roll dough into a 1/8" rectangle. Repeat with the other piece of dough. Refrigerate both for 30 minutes.
Spread jam over one piece of dough and top with the other. Refrigerate for 1 hour.
Cut out cookies with a cookie cutter (about 2 1/2") and place on parchment lined baking sheets. Brush tops with cream and sprinkle with sugar. Refrigerate for 1 hour. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Bake the cookies until golden, 16-20 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool.
I baked the scraps too, what the hell, better than throwing them away.

Mexicasian

When we went camping recently we got some chicken wings from Vallarta that were very suspiciously huge but so incredibly delicious. I suppose they're probably steroided and fed bird seed until they're the size of turkeys, but somehow it's not so offensive when they're Mexican because haven't the Mexicans been growing and eating chicken for thousands of years? Apparently yes because these wings are friggin delicious. Somebody knows what they're doing. They come all spiced and ready to go so I just grilled them. Seven giant chicken wings for $5. That's the recipe.

I did make the soup to go with them, however, and it was fantastic. I was a little skeptical after I had put it all together and it looked a little boring. Don't worry. Let it cook all the way until it's done and you will be very happy. It's the easiest soup I've ever made and pleases the part of me that only likes asian foods. Normally I HATE sundried tomatoes but it sounded so crazy that I decided to give it a chance and it totally works in this because it doesn't have that stupid annoying flavor, just tastes like slightly chewy reconstituted tomatoes. Yum.

Red Lentil Soup
adapted from Marcia's Kitchen

4 T olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 c red lentils
3 cloves garlic, minced
1-2 inch knob of ginger, minced
3 oz dried tomatoes, chopped (not packed in oil)
6 c chicken stock
16 oz can coconut milk
kosher salt, to taste
ground pepper, to taste
sour cream or creme fraiche

In a large pot, heat the oil over medium high and add the onions. Cook for a few minutes until slightly softened and add the carrots and celery. Cook for a few more minutes and then add the lentils, garlic, ginger and sundried tomatoes. Cook a few more minutes until all is fragrant then add the stock, coconut milk, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to low and simmer for about 30 minutes.
Garnish with sour cream or creme fraiche.

The guitar my dad is MAKING! (update)

I hate chocolate chip cookie posts

Everybody knows how to make chocolate chip cookies and everybody likes them different. Today I melted the butter instead of creaming it and it was good, so there you go. My aunt Mary is here and she loves chocolate chip cookies so I made these for her. Somebody had sent us the NY Times big fancy wait 3 days recipe. Yuck. I never had a worse ccc.


Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 sticks butter
1 c brown sugar
1/2 c sugar
2 eggs
2 t vanilla
2 1/4 c flour
1 hefty teaspoon salt
1 hefty teaspoon baking soda
walnuts, broken
pecans, broken
chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Melt the butter and add the sugars. Transfer to a bowl and add the eggs and vanilla and mix to combine. Add the flour, salt and baking soda and mix until just combined and then add the chocolate and nuts. Let rest for about 10-15 minutes. Drop spoonfuls onto parchment lined baking sheets and bake for 10 minutes. Cool slightly and transfer to cooling racks.

Salads good and not so good

Last night I made some really delicious chicken parmesan with spinach fettucine and homemade tomato sauce and I didn't take one single picture. It didn't even occur to me until I was thinking about cookies, so about 2 minutes after the dishes were done. What a dummy. So, yeah, it was great and it looked really pretty. Trust me.

I did finally make the pasta salad the night before. I should have stuck with the original plan, caesar with chicken and pasta. What I made was okay but not great judging by the response from my eaters. Pretty much total silence. I got one 'That was really good, thank you' at the end but that was from a very polite lady (not related to me). And when my brother tried it yesterday he didn't even finish the little bit he took. Yes, I noticed. It looks good though, right? Especially in the before picture.

Here is one that will not disappoint. It's not pretty, so don't take it's picture, but it's delicious. Obviously it can be adapted with whatever you like, but the last 3 ingredients are key. I always use pineapple as the base and then add mangoes or peaches or whatever seems good. Here's how I did it this time.


Ginger Lime Fruit Salad

1 pineapple, cut smallish
1 white nectarine, cut same size
1 yellow nectarine, cut same size
2 pluot, cut same size
green grapes, cut in half
lots of candied ginger, minced
juice of one lime

Toss all together being careful not to mush it. I make the whole thing in a big tupperware and eat it all day long. It's only good for about 2 days, but I've never had a problem with that.

Stinkface

My mom is coming home from the hospital today, yay! No more hospital food. Sorry. At least for now.
When I'm at my parents house I eat totally different food from when I'm in real life, so here I am waiting for the hospital bed to get delivered and for my mom to come home and I'm starving so one of my Malibu but not real life snacks is Matzoh with cream cheese and salt. Yum, try it it's so good. Get Moonstrips if you can, they have onions or something in them. Like an everything bagel. So there's some lightly salted (eh) matzoh here and no cream cheese. The other day when I was here cleaning out the fridge getting ready for my mom to come home I didn't throw away this garlic hummus that I had bought awhile ago. I don't know why I bought it or why I didn't throw it away because I don't even like hummus really! And it's a little expired ew!! But the other choice was butter and I'm on a health kick today, so I went for the rotten hummus.
But the point is... this is not the cracker that I ate. This is the photo cracker that I had to make after I already ate the real one and was done. And then guess what I did with the photo cracker. Took a photo of it ;)
And now my face stinks cause it was really garlicky. Stinkface.

Swimmer, I love you

My brother sent me this link to what Michael Phelps eats in a day, which everyone has been talking about but for some reason everyone stops at breakfast. Get a load of lunch and dinner! Who can eat a whole pizza and then a pound of pasta too in the same meal?! That's an entire bag or box of pasta.
So I was reading the menu to my parents and got to the end and commented that there are pretty much no fruits or vegetables in his diet at all except for the lettuce and tomato on his three breakfast sandwiches. Granted that probably adds up to two whole tomatoes, but it doesn't really sound like champion food. So my mom said how so many nutritionists must hear that and want to get their hands on him. And I said, It makes me want to be his cook! Nothing in the world would thrill me like watching someone eat like that. And I cooked it for him! Hmm, marry a swimmer, eh? And have a bunch of swimmer babies? Sounds expensive.

Pickles and salt

We should be going home from the hospital soon. I'm going to go stay in Malibu and I want to make a pasta salad which started out wanting to be just rotelle and chicken and caesar dressing. I used to get that from a place in West LA called Sainsbury's which was the first place I ever saw de-seed the pomegranates for you way back before POM and Trader Joe's and all of their mothers started doing it. It's a pretty good little market.
But now the pasta salad is turning into rotelle with chicken and caesar dressing with broccoli and tomatoes and salami and mozzarella and olives. I am also thinking of making deviled eggs and pickled eggs and pickled cucmbers. I'm curious if it's just my tastebuds that make me crave vinegar and salt and sour or if there's something more biological going on. I'm hungry.

No more!! (Winnebag-o man! you feel me?)

Ok, seriously, I can't do this anymore if this picture thing keeps happening. Somebody must have a better way.

Hospital food

My mom got moved to a different ward after she had surgery on Wednesday and they gave her green Jell-o! Isn't that a cliche, they really DO THAT?

Last night, after she had dissed the tomato soup lunch, she dissed the pizza dinner and wanted Taco Bell instead. Ha! Bean and cheese burritos. Unlike Eskimo Pies, those are something she's actually been fond of for quite some time.



Dinner on Tuesday was vegetable lasagna with "garden" salad and peach tower??

No food after 6:30am on Wednesday (which I was not here to photograph, but it was oatmeal and raisin bran) even though her surgery was scheduled for 3pm and they didn't end up starting until 9pm. Breakfast again I didn't witness because I live an hour away and it's at the crack of dawn so forgive me. Because she hadn't been in this room to order the day before, she got "Hospital's Choice!" As soon as they brought lunch we all poo pooed it and decided we were getting stuff from Whole Foods and then seconds later decided maybe we should at least try it cause how bad can tomato soup really be, it's like pizza! (Dad and I, not Mom) It was not bad enough to not eat and when the rice was dumped in, it became Dad's lunch. Mom wanted cheddar cheese and lettuce on a pretzel roll from whole foods with no anything else (ew) so I got pretzel roll with swiss cheese and mustard and tomato and no pickles (last minute bail out) and it was pretty good except for the yellow mustard and mealy tomatoes :D

And then. Just as I was leaving last night. They brought more cheese pizza! Hooray! I ate half of it and my dad ate a quarter and my mom wouldn't eat any and she wanted Taco Bell bean and cheese burritos instead. She has pretty cute and hilarious taste, doesn't she?

p.s. I hate the way this picture upload thing is, does anybody please know how to do this? It can't be this hard and annoying, can it? Help.

Ice cream and pain killers, please!

My mom's eating an eskimo pie. Her second one of the day. She's pretty much sleepy or asleep most of the time, but when my dad called today and said he was going to the store and asked if we wanted anything she struggled to the surface to yell out 'Eskimo Pie!' I can't tell you what a thrill that gave me. I have a friend who is a single fellow and occasionally decides to buy food for his house and it is one of my giddiest things to hear what he bought. You know how most people have regular things that they usually get every time? Not this guy. He lets the Ralphs Fresh Fare lead him where it may. He even saved the receipt for me once cause he knew how much I liked it. Aw.
So I've been hanging out at the hospital for many days and have done mostly not noteworthy eating and cooking of no kind so that's why the lull. But then one of my friends pointed out the fascination of hospital food and I realized that yes! Every time the tray comes I am out of my chair before they even put it down so I can see what we got. It's like on the airplane, even though I know I'm not gonna eat it I have to get it anyway just so I can see what it looks like. The best part is that my mom orders the food a day before and she can never remember what she asked for so it's a double surprise that I get to see what she thought she might be able to tolerate from the pathetic choices and then what it actually is. I will say, the cheese pizza yesterday was delicious and if she would have been asleep I would have eaten it.
I might be cooking something tonight and watching the olympics and then tomorrow I'm going to start documenting the hospital meals so you can all (Robin and Sugie) share in the fascination. So get ready! Yee haw